Katherine Heigl doesn't understand adoption. It's too bad she just adopted a daughter from South Korea.
I am really angry right now. I just wrote an email to the Angry Asian Man, who has an awesome website. I don't know if he will have time to post my email, or any of its content, at all. So, I thought I'd post the email here, for those two of you that still read this blog. ~lol~
UPDATE 11/23: Thank you, Angry Asian Man! http://www.angryasianman.com/2009/11/katherine-heigls-adoptable-critters.html
He said it much better than I ever could.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
UPDATE 11/23: Thank you, Angry Asian Man! http://www.angryasianman.com/2009/11/katherine-heigls-adoptable-critters.html
He said it much better than I ever could.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I'm sorry to bother you. I know you get a lot of email. I don't get angry very often, but this has infuriated me.
As you know, Katherine Heigl and her husband have adopted a baby from South Korea. According to the Huffington Post, the couple posted photos of their new daughter on Katherine Heigl's animal rescue foundation website. http://www.jasonheiglfoundati
In my opinion, it's bad enough that someone would post photos of an adopted human child on an animal rescue foundation website in the first place. Did the irony escape them (and their publicist)? This is not acceptable.
It is even more unacceptable when the adoption announcement of their daughter, a human child, is sandwiched between announcements about animal adoptions: http://www.
I feel that by placing what is essentially the birth announcement of a human child between posts about dog and cat adoption events, a parallel is created in people's minds between human adoption and animal adoption. They are decidedly not the same thing.
Even worse, many people may see this website and think that it is perfectly acceptable. Adoption and transnational adoption are often misunderstood by the general public. As an adult Korean-American adoptee, I have experienced this first-hand. I just can't sit and be silent this time. I'm not saying that my opinions are right or wrong. This is simply how I feel.
I am angered and saddened that Katherine Heigl, her family, her publicist, and those involved in posting the announcement would think this was an acceptable course of action. Their daughter is a human being, not a stray dog or a lost cat.
It seems clear that despite the fact that Ms. Heigl has a sister who was adopted from Korea, she still lacks an understanding of transnational adoption and its issues. A discussion may help her and the general public think more carefully about adoption. The foundation website has a 'Contact Us' page at http://www.
Thank you very much for your time.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I hope this makes sense. What do you think? Am I making a big deal out of nothing? I may be overreacting. I hope I'm not. Now I mostly just feel sad. It's like beating your head against a wall. Will adoption ever be understood? Sometimes it seems not. Hell, I don't even understand and I'm an adoptee. And, really, why should it be understood. Adoptees are a minority. Adoptive parents are a minority. We're not a racial minority, but we're definitely a minority. And to be a minority is to be misunderstood by the majority.
.... no? am I being too cynical?
anyway, please take a moment and look at the website. if you have an opinion, please take another moment and drop them a line.
thank you.
posted by smochs at 2:01 AM
7 Comments:
I don't think you're making a big deal about it. I think it's an ignorant move on Kathrine Heigl's part. She probably didn't think, which is precisely the problem.
I don't understand, however, the intricate issues involved in transcontinental adoption, so maybe that's what we need your help understanding.
I get the "feeling culture-less" angle. I'm a black American, and a middle-class black American at that. I don't listen to hip hop. I wasn't raised in the city, much less in a ghetto. My friends are of all different ethnic backgrounds. I don't speak ebonics. "American culture" ignores my existence and erases or invalidates or trivializes my history. Feeling culture-less is something I live with every day. I never completely identified with white, black, Latino, or Asian culture, and still don't.
I don't mean to minimize what you're feeling, but I guess I don't quite understand what's in the background of this Katherine Heigel issue that has you upset. I really want to understand. What are the issues of adoption and transcontinental adoption? What is it that the general public doesn't really understand about adoption and transcontinental adoption? Help us understand.
hey adia,
i wrote a comment in response and then i reread it and it didn't make any sense. i'm going to get some sleep tonight and then respond tomorrow when i'm thinking more clearly.
in the meantime, there's a great article by katie leo over here: http://www.womenspress.com/main.asp?SectionID=1&SubSectionID=1&ArticleID=3238 it gives a really great overview on adoption issues from a feminist perspective.
Thanks, Sarah.
That's a lot to think about. I'll have to dig into the whole "better life" aspect, because that's still a sticking point for me. I read that article you posted from the NYT, and I agree that mothers should get to raise their own children and not feel pressured to give them away. But that's where the support needs to come in, if they're in an economically vulnerable position, whether it's from their families or the government. If the support *isn't* there, does it become a moral dilemma to choose between keeping a child in poverty or sending her halfway across the world to richer parents?
Complex, indeed.
Hey Adia,
I think part of the problem is that often we in the Western world assume that people who give up their children for adoption are poor. I grew up assuming that my birth mother was poor and couldn't keep me. I don't remember why or how I gathered information to make that thought, I just remember thinking it.
However, of all the adoption stories that I've heard while I've been here, very few of them involve finances. Here, at least, from what I've heard from other adoptee's stories - and granted, I haven't heard much so this is just the opinion I've developed from stories I've randomly heard - but it seems like often people got divorced or had affairs or pissed off their in-laws or parents or other relatives, so their kids were given away. They could have been kept. Some kids got lost. Some were kidnapped. Financial support didn't always play a part, though sometimes it does.
That said, if financial support in fact doesn't exist, is it better to live in poverty with your family, or is it better to grow up with a different, more wealthy family? It depends on the situation, I think. Some adoptees have to grow up in situations where people adopt because they want to "save" the world's poor children rather than because they simply want kids. I know someone who had to listen all throughout childhood to the adoptive parents saying that this friend wasn't grateful for having been saved from abandonment and poverty. That puts quite a burden on a child. Conversely, some adoptees grow up in families that just wanted to have children. I'm glad I grew up in one of those families. Both birth families and adoptive families can be verbally and physically abusive, sadly.
I don't know which is better, or if one or the other really can ever be thought of as "better". Money doesn't cure all. I know adoptees who grew up in wealthy families who didn't have happy childhoods. I know others who grew up in lower-middle class American families who also didn't have happy childhoods. Again, in both cases, of course the converse has also happened.
In addition, there has been some research done looking at the effect the trauma of separation has on a baby or child who was given away/taken away from a birth mother/father. I'm slogging my way through a couple books on this now - "The Primal Wound" by Nancy Newton Verrier and "Adoption Healing" by Joe Soll (thank you to the person who lent them to me!). It's scary to read these. I'm trying to be careful, taking what they say with the proverbial grain of salt. I'm learning a lot, though, and looking at my issues and the issues I've discussed with other adoptees, it really does seem that the trauma of separation has a pretty powerful effect on adoptees, birth mothers, and the adoptive parents who deal with their children's issues. It depends a lot on the individual's personality, the age of adoption, etc.
That said, are the results of that separation trauma - trust issues, guilt issues, abandonment issues, attachment issues, the need to please, the need to control, the need to create a false self, the covering of emotions like anger or love, etc. - are these worth growing up financially comfortable? I don't know. I don't know what it's like to be truly poor. I don't know if I would have been poor or not growing up in Korea. I still don't know what I think about adoption. I know I have some kind of issue with it, because I am scared to death of getting involved in the adoptee community here. I feel like if I really get involved, I will implode or freak out - maybe because I'll have to deal with some feelings I've repressed? Hell, I don't know.
All I know is that I love my adoptive family and that even if I met my birth family, my adoptive family would still be my family, if that makes any sense. I know that I've got issues. I know that the more I read about adoption, the less I like it, even though yes, it means that sometimes kids get to grow up in wealthier circumstances with people who actually want kids, not people who want to save the world. Not that it's a bad thing to want to save the world. It's maybe a bad thing to want to save the world and also get credit for being the person who is saving the world. I don't know.
And now my brain's all a muddle. Sorry, Adia. I don't know if this helps or explains anything. I think it pretty much just shows that adoption is awfully complicated, and it's going to come down to an individual's opinion on whether they want to adopt or not, keep their children or not, etc. I do wish, however, that people would think really carefully and do some research before they adopt. Katherine Heigl, for instance. I don't understand how any one could think it was okay to post their child's adoption announcement on an animal adoption website. And, if she didn't know the announcement went out there, wouldn't you monitor the photos of your children more closely than that, especially as a celebrity? ~shaking head~
Anyway, if you want to read more, G.O.A.L and TRACK are two organizations in Korea that support adoptees. G.O.A.L is less political than TRACK. Here are their websites:
G.O.A.L:
http://www.goal.or.kr/eng/?slms=info&lsms=1&sl=1&ls=1
TRACK:
http://justicespeaking.wordpress.com/objective-%EB%AA%A9%EC%A0%81/
~Sara
sorry, the links didn't work very well.
Here's G.O.A.L's homepage - go to the Introduction tab:
http://www.goal.or.kr/eng/
Here's TRACK's homepage - go to the "About TRACK" link on the left:
http://justicespeaking.wordpress.com/
You were clearer than you think. :) The piece of information I wasn't seeing (or needed spelled out for me) was *why* children are put up for adoption in the first place. Knowing that it isn't due to financial circumstances in more cases than we think puts a whole new light on it.
And everything else you mentioned is helpful, as well.
Thank you.
(Hey, this convo was really good. Would you put your responses on the main page? I think this whole issue is something that a lot of people wonder about but are afraid to dig too deeply into a sensitive issue. I would for sure give you some link love on my new blog-that-is-not-yet-completely-live.)
Post a Comment
<< Home