please read this article if you have time. it's about the struggles faced by unwed mothers in South Korea. it gives some explanation as to why so many Korean babies are given away.
i love my family. finding my birth family, if it happened, wouldn't and couldn't change my love for my family.
however, as i learn more about adoption and try to sort through my own personal identity issues (which are completely and fully my own), the more i've come to believe that adoption is not a great thing, even if a child who was given up or abandoned or kidnapped or sold or simply lost is able to join a new family. that family may love that child with all their heart. my parents love me (they may even like me sometimes, too ;p). we've had our rocky moments, like any family, but i think they've been pretty great parents. despite our good relationship, i still feel this weird void inside -- i'm a fake.. i'm a bad person... i'm not good enough... i'm not white enough... i'm not asian enough...
i used to be a white girl from a small town in Wisconsin. then i tried to be an asian girl in South Korea. now i'm stuck in a netherworld of in-between, where i'm neither white nor asian. i'm trying to peacefully meld my identities together, but much of the time i feel alienated from both.
anyway, my long-winded point is that this is a fairly painful process. it's not something i'd wish anyone to experience. i sincerely hope that unwed mothers in Korea become more accepted by society so that more of these women can keep their children.
please read this article if you have time.
2 Comments:
Sara- I think I know how you feel. Last year I found out I have cancer. No one else I closely knew had cancer. And so I began this journey no one understood. I felt every day as my last. I felt a need to hurry up and accompish, see, taste, feel. I too, felt alone. And I had a new look on life. A different one from everyone else. People, drs, nurses, even told me - you are now, way ahead of everyone else. So now I am different?!!?!? No, we are not. The mirror and our thoughts tell us we are. The people around us remind us we are not. You are my cousin. I love you and am so proud of you. I truely talk about you all of the time. I do feel what you do. But we need to remind ourselves we are not different - just enhanced :-)
dude! hello! thank you for you comment, it made me feel better.~^^ enhanced is a good way to think about things. :) hope you are well! i've been checking your blog out now and then, it sounds like things are moving along, though hope your friday appt. went well & there's nothing to worry about.~<3<3<3
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