a favor
hi. how are you? long time no write.
i've been trying not to write here when i am in a bad frame of mind because i just write stupid negative venting crap, as you've probably read before. i apologize for that. and i'm sorry there hasn't been much to read lately.
i have a favor. please send some positive thoughts my way, if you feel like it. i am having a tough time at the moment. in a nutshell, things have not gone as planned. (which probably means they are going as usual. ha.)
i'm still at the hostel. rod and i are scrambling to find a place to live. i've not been able to study enough due to housing, stress, trying to find part-time work, blah blah blah. there is a good chance i am going to do very, very poorly on mid-term exams next week. if i don't pass, i lose my scholarship. if i lose my scholarship, i can't study anymore. if i can't study, i don't know what i'll do.
you know me. rather dark (aka, super negative). a major character flaw. so. i am trying really hard to stay positive. but i think i need some help. positive thoughts are appreciated.
thank you many.
~s
i've been trying not to write here when i am in a bad frame of mind because i just write stupid negative venting crap, as you've probably read before. i apologize for that. and i'm sorry there hasn't been much to read lately.
i have a favor. please send some positive thoughts my way, if you feel like it. i am having a tough time at the moment. in a nutshell, things have not gone as planned. (which probably means they are going as usual. ha.)
i'm still at the hostel. rod and i are scrambling to find a place to live. i've not been able to study enough due to housing, stress, trying to find part-time work, blah blah blah. there is a good chance i am going to do very, very poorly on mid-term exams next week. if i don't pass, i lose my scholarship. if i lose my scholarship, i can't study anymore. if i can't study, i don't know what i'll do.
you know me. rather dark (aka, super negative). a major character flaw. so. i am trying really hard to stay positive. but i think i need some help. positive thoughts are appreciated.
thank you many.
~s
posted by smochs at 9:58 PM
11 Comments:
Hi sara,
I've been checking in with your blog for updates, because I know how much you love it there. Katie and I are super excited to join you next year around this time. One of the major things I'm worried about is the ability to get back into student mode while we're there, as I know how hard my one day a week class was that we attempted to take here a while back. So I definitely understand what you're going through. (albeit on a much smaller scale). I'm sure the sheer amount of information is daunting, but I also know how intelligent you are, so I have no doubt you'll be able to hang in there. Regardless, don't they have some kind of adoptee allowance for this sort of thing? It seems unfair that they could give you the boot, since you've done so much to make it back to Korea to begin with. Anyway, just know that we're rootin' you on here in the Twin Cities. And when the going gets tough, just go out and take more beautiful photos.
Take care,
eric
Girl, you just let Rod take care of housing since he messed up :) and you focus on studying and job search! Keeping your scholarship is top priority and you will DO IT. I so admire all your hard work and just take it day by day, knowing back in MN, we are all cheering you on and hella envious of your Seoul experience. Find a quiet space every day and power on. Sending love and hugs,
Heewon (Koroot! I miss Koroot. The choco pies. The way your feet feel on the floor. The singing machines.)
Hi --
Just read your blog -- so I checked out my handy dandy Daily Motivator website. It helps me get out of my own way and see that I can work toward my goals rather than giving up. They always have a positive idea to start the day. Here is today's installment:
THERE IS ALWAYS A WAY
You are stronger than anything standing in your way. Because you have a purpose that cannot be denied.
Often that purpose is difficult and inconvenient to follow. Yet it is never impossible to follow.
There is always a way. If the path you're on is blocked, look for another route, because it is surely there.
You can be flexible, innovative, determined and persistent. You can imagine any possibility, and then work to make that possibility real.
Every moment, every circumstance, every turn of events presents you with an opportunity to act. Take those opportunities, make those actions come to life, and express the purpose that is uniquely you.
Step up and embrace the responsibility for moving your life forward. Whatever may come, there is always a way.
-- Ralph Marston
GIVE YOURSELF THE POWER
Your power depends on your perspective. And your perspective is yours to choose.
If you convince yourself that you're having a bad day, you will indeed experience a frustrating and unproductive day. If you assume that circumstances are allied against you, then you'll encounter great trouble in getting anything done.
There is a much more powerful alternative. You can choose to adopt and embrace a perspective that will work for you rather than against you.
Think of how you would feel if conditions were perfect, if your actions were highly effective and if everything was going exactly your way. Then, once you imagine how it would feel, go ahead and allow yourself to actually feel that way.
How would you act today if you knew you were going to be completely successful? Go ahead and act that way, and the success will come.
Put yourself in a position of power by choosing to feel the positive influence and effectiveness that you know is yours. Adopt the thoughts, feelings and actions of success, and you will indeed bring success to life.
-- Ralph Marston
the website is: greatday.com
They have scads of previous messages that you can view -- for those days when one just isn't enough!
Jan
That all sucks, girl--I'm sorry that that's all happening. Is there someone at the school who can help you find housing? I know you want to live together, but maybe you just need to find a place yourself to take the pressure off. I hope something opens up for you. If you need a good thought, you can just be thankful you're living in a place that has a shower, which would not be the case if you were still living with us. :P The replacement tub/shower is still not installed, and I'm at a week of bathing in the basement!
Love you, girl. I know it sounds stupid, but get enough sleep. You can't learn or think or problem solve without sleep. Be healthy.
Hey Sara! Sorry to hear about your trials and tribulations. But I bet you'll get through em just fine. I'm planning on taking next year off to teach English in Seoul, so I fully intend on visiting you next summer! Take care--and when things settle down for you, I want to see more pictures! :)
A wise bear once said:
Cottleston, Cottleston, Cottleston Pie
A fly can't bird, but a bird can fly
My mom once said:
The difficult we do immediately, the impossible takes a little longer.
Just be you as hard as you can be and all will be fine.
Hug!
Heidi
First - BIG HUG!
Second - As a card-carrying member of the Sara fan club, it's my duty to inform you that YOU WILL find a way to make all of this work for you.
Third - You are very very smart
Last - Please make sure that you take care of yourself! Eat good food, get enough rest and exercise, and top it off with a little soju!
luv ya!
안녕하세요? im yet another korean adoptee living in seoul and studying korean at sogang^^ i stumbled across your blog a little while ago when i was searching for information and resources for adoptees *trying* to live/work/study in seoul. im not great at keeping up with blogs, but i happened to check yours today and saw that you were kind of having a hard time...don't i know the feeling, lol..just know you're not in it alone! not sure if you've found housing yet or sorted out the other things, but if you want you can email me at littlejewel1@gmail.com. hopefully i can share some of the more helpful information i've found since being here! also - i hope you don't find this post to be excessively sketchy since we've never met... though i think you might know some of my friends who are also on the InKAS scholarship. hope to talk soon ^^ ~yunjoo
You're amazing, strong, and brave for picking up your life and moving it to a foreign country. That takes guts, fortitude, and major ovaries, and I applaud you.
You have it in you to hang in there and "make it work."
Did it work?
Love, Annie
R U alive?
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